Today is the release day launch for Candy Sloane’s The Reality O. I am so excited to share this erotic comedy with y’all. Candy is sharing an excerpt with us today, so be sure to check out all the info!!!

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Exclusive Excerpt:

Behind the Scenes

 

Make me come for the very first time.

Twenty-five-year-old busty, blond, green-eyed, straitlaced librarian,

looking for a guy to be able to do what no one before him has.

 

Above you’ll find the joke “Casual Encounters” post my best friend Allie put on Craigslistwithout my knowledge.

On the bright side, she’d referred to me as busty. On the not so bright side, her bawdy prank started a chain of crazier than crazy events that neither of us could have predicted.

Her post was true. I’d never had an orgasm during sex, or anything else I’d done with someone else. Yes, even with tongues, fingers, and things stuck in places my mother and your mother would not want to hear about things being stuck.

My lack of orgasm without my trusty vibrator wasn’t something I bragged about, but I also didn’t think it was that weird.

I mean, Allie told me it was, but it was like rule number one of being friends with her to never believe anything she said. Her self-described sex life rivaled the tips in Cosmo magazine—the good parts that revealed confidences you were pretty sure no human had ever actually experienced, not the embarrassing anonymous stories that made you feel better about your own boring sex life.

Or at least, they’d made me feel better about mine.

I received the first response to Allie’s post while I was at work shelving books in the miniscule poetry section of the Bangor Public Library. I was using my recently awarded Masters of Library Science degree to its fullest for sure.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I picked it up with one hand and squeezed it between my ear and shoulder, balancing a huge volume by E.E. Cummings in my other hand.

At the time I didn’t notice, but now, yes, I see the irony.

“Hello,” I whispered, glancing around to make sure I was alone among the shelves. We weren’t supposed to take calls in the library, and that day I wished I would have followed the rule I continually got reprimanded for breaking.

“I want to make you come,” a breathy voice oozed from the receiver, “I’m going to suck on your sweet, throbbing clit until…”

“Excuse me!?!” I screamed. Well, as loudly as you can in the middle of a library. My heart was pounding so chaotically the people using the free internet could probably hear it anyway.

“I’ll start by licking you nice and slow, all around your honey pot, till you’re begging for it, desperate for more. Then I’ll—”

I hung up. My throat ached. My face dimpled with sweat.

Honey pot? I was too freaked out to even appreciate the humor in a guy trying to talk dirty while using Winnie the Pooh as his muse.

Yes, freaked out. I was not turned on. I was terrified. I studied the phone number in my recent call list. It was local.

I tried to gather myself, smoothing my tight ponytail as I went back to shelving, but I couldn’t get his voice out of my head. I kept hearing him. The men I went out with never talked to me that way. No one had ever talked to me that way. I certainly didn’t like it, but I also couldn’t deny the adrenaline shooting and pinging through each limb like my body was a pinball machine.

I picked up a slim Anne Sexton paperback—yet another irony in hindsight—and squatted down. His voice still echoed. My thighs burned as I glided my fingers along the back spines on the bottom shelf looking for its space.

My phone vibrated again.

I glanced at the number before I answered, not the breathy-voiced sicko, another local call. I should have just let it go to voicemail. I should have, but I didn’t.

“Hello,” I answered, hesitantly, rubbing one finger along the frame of my glasses—chunky and bright red, a perfect contrast to my olive green eyes and the one style decision that always made people wonder about me.

“Hey baby,” a growl slithered over the line, “I hear you need a real man.”

“Who is this?” I whispered.

“Your daddy.”

I held out the phone and stared at it like it had come to life. I could still hear his voice thrusting through the receiver.

“You want it, don’t you? I’m going to bend you over a table and shove my twelve-inch-cock into your dripping wet pussy again and again, my finger right—”

I clicked end and threw my phone on the ground. My pulse was pounding so feverishly against my neck it was choking me. What the hell was going on?

Also, who in this world had a twelve-inch-cock? How did he walk with that thing unless he used it as a cane?

My phone came to life again, buzzing and lighting up from where it lay on the floor, like a horror movie where you thought the monster was dead, but really he was invincible.

I picked it up with the tips of two fingers and looked at it, yet another local number I didn’t recognize. I clicked for the call to go to voicemail.

It was 11:00 a.m., too early to take lunch, but I didn’t care. My phone vibrated in my hand as yet another call lit up the screen. I forced it to voicemail and texted Allie to drop everything and meet me at The Sundown.

If it was too early to take lunch, it was definitely too early to have a drink, but I needed one. It had to be five o’clock somewhere considering it was sex o’clock on my phone.

 

 

 

The Reality O Synopsis:

Fifteen Contestants, Twelve Episodes & One Very Big O

When my best friend Allie posted about my need for an inaugural O on a prominent dating website it was meant to be a joke.

A joke she was supposed to delete.

But her post started an internet and media frenzy and, when I was offered fifty thousand dollars to star in my own reality competition show, I had no choice but to say yes.

The Orgasm Virgin was supposed to help me meet a carnal companion who could finally bring me to climax.

Unfortunately, the one person I want to win the undying allegiance of my, well, you know, can’t be in the running at all.

Now in an L.A. mansion with fifteen very persuasive contestants vying for my attention and one undeniably sexy Production Assistant secretly getting it all the word ACTION has a whole new meaning…

Candy Sloane is an erotica author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult novel Sneaking Candy. The Orgasm Virgin is her debut novel.

Author’s Note: This book is about sex. There are men kissing women, women kissing women, and men kissing lady parts. It is not meant for readers under eighteen, or my mother.

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Candy Sloane Bio:

Candy Sloane is an erotic romance author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult Novel Sneaking Candy. The Reality O is her debut novel.

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats.

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We are dying to jump back down the rabbit hole with Heather Lyons’ THE HIDDEN LIBRARY! THE HIDDEN LIBRARY is an Adult Romantic Fairy Tale, full of adventure and fantasy and the second book in Heather’s The Collectors’ Society Series! Check out the latest fantastic installment in this series that brings you some of the classics with a twist.

 

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Excerpt:

We are about to open the conference room door and enter the hallway when he stops. He turns to me, his lovely eyes achingly sincere. “I want to take you on a date when all of this craziness is over. A real one. We’ve kind of gone about this all backwards, haven’t we?”

One corner of my mouth lifts up. “Are you saying you’d like to court me?”

There is no playfulness to his face, no quirk to his own lips. My heart flutters at his seriousness. “Yes.”

He wants to court me.

Too many emotions rush around in a caucus race throughout my body. I have no doubts of Huckleberry Finn Van Brunt’s feelings toward me. I understood them two minutes ago just as well as I did this morning when I woke up and from the night before and from the day in Wonderland where he said, in not so many words, that he was falling in love with me.

I told him he was my north star, and meant it. He countered we are binaries.

He and I . . . We’ve never said those words, though, not the ones that truly spell out fragile, deep secrets of a heart and soul. Words so easily and yet unfortunately uttered by many, be it to express their appreciation of fried bits of potatoes to sports teams on the television. Words offered so frivolously about a variety of subjects and yet can be the most difficult, most painful, most meaningful, most cherished syllables we gift another person.

I have said these words before, to another man. Another man I still love. One I know, in the deepest confines of my heart, that I will love until the last breath escapes my body. A man who courted me in secret and then publicly in the face of astonishment, disapproval, confusion, and, in the end, prophesies.

I have willingly given the man in front of me my heart, though, whether he knows it or not. He now holds it in his hands, and while I pray he is my future, there is still a part of me that bucks in conflicted confusion and delight by this declaration of his.

He wants to court me.

And yet, as sweet and romantic as such a gesture might be, I require no such formalities. My affections for Finn Van Brunt have already solidified into something real and wonderful and meaningful.

 

ABOUT THE HIDDEN LIBRARY:

Sometimes, the rabbit hole is deeper than expected . . .

Alice Reeve and Finn Van Brunt have tumbled into a life of secrets. Some secrets they share, such as their employment by the clandestine organization known as The Collectors’ Society. Other secrets they carry within them, fighting to keep buried the things that could change everything they think they know.

On the hunt for an elusive villain who is hell-bent on destroying legacies, Alice, Finn, and the rest of the Society are desperate to unravel the mysteries surrounding them. But the farther they spiral down this rabbit hole, the deeper they fall into secrets that will test their loyalties and pit them against enemies both new and old.

Secrets, they come to find, can reveal the deadliest of truths.

 

 

Don’t miss the first book in this series, THE COLLECTORS’ SOCIETY!

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About Heather Lyons:

Heather Lyons writes epic, heartfelt love stories and has always had a thing for words. In addition to writing, she’s also been an archaeologist and a teacher. She and her husband and children live in sunny Southern California and are currently working their way through every cupcakery she can find.

 

 

 

 

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